The Steps to Create a Marriage Mission Statement.
Plus a FREE Workbook to guide you!
In 1989, Stephen R. Covey wrote The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, a book that transformed the way we approach our lives, our goals, and our sense of purpose. In his second habit, Covey introduced the idea of creating a personal mission statement—a guiding principle to help us live with intention. These mission statements encourage us to “begin with the end in mind,” asking us to envision where we want to be in twenty, thirty, forty, or even fifty years.
As I reflect on this concept, I see how closely it aligns with biblical principles. Proverbs 29:18 reminds us: “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.”
In this verse, the word “vision” refers to the revelation and guidance found in God’s Word. Without it—without a clear understanding of His truth and direction for our lives—we falter. We lose our way. But with His Word as our foundation, we find purpose, direction, and joy.
Covey’s idea of creating a mission statement and Proverbs 29:18 both point to the importance of living intentionally and with clarity. While Covey focuses on personal and professional growth, the Bible calls us to align our vision with God’s eternal purpose. This concept doesn’t just apply to individuals; it also applies to our relationships, especially marriage.
There are so many “voices” fighting for our attention today. We live in the Information Age where everyone seems to have an opinion on how we should live, what we should prioritize, and even what our purpose should be. It’s overwhelming, isn’t it? With so much noise, it can be hard to discern truth.
When Steven and I got married, we were eager to create a strong, lasting, and meaningful relationship. We turned to books, articles, and advice from countless experts. We read everything we could get our hands on—guides to a “perfect marriage,” advice for building a “successful partnership,” and countless lists of what we “should” do to thrive as a couple.
But do you know what we discovered?
Every single one of those marriage books paled in comparison to the Word of God.
We were searching for the secret to a successful marriage, but the answer had been right in front of us all along. The Word of God wasn’t just one of many resources; it was the resource—the foundation we needed. So, we made a choice: we put away the self-help books and turned fully to the Word.
With God’s Word in hand, we set out to create a marriage mission statement—not based on what we desired or what a trendy blog or Pinterest board suggested, but on what He desires for our marriage. Far too often, we find ourselves turning to Social Media, Amazon Prime, or Pinterest for answers before turning to the Word of God. But we knew that if our marriage was going to thrive, it had to be built on His vision, not the world’s.
Our crafted mission statement has become a source of life and direction for our marriage. Whenever we lose focus, we go back to the mission statement. When we’re tempted to compare ourselves to “that couple in church” or model our lives after someone else, we go back to the mission statement. When we see something or someone we admire, we measure it against the mission statement. If it doesn’t align with God’s vision for our marriage, we let it go.
It’s that simple.
In this article, we’re sharing the steps Steven and I used to create a God-designed marriage mission statement. If you would prefer to download the FREE workbook instead of reading it, you can do so HERE.
STEP 1: Pray.
Begin by taking time to pray individually and together. Quiet your hearts and minds, asking the Lord to guide you. Pray for clarity, unity, and a vision for your marriage that honors Him. Prayer is the foundation upon which everything else is built. Ask God to stir your hearts to create a marriage that reflects His love and truth.
STEP 2: Set Aside Time.
Once you’ve prayed, set aside uninterrupted time to create your mission statement. This step is crucial in our distracting world. Steven and I chose a Friday night at a coffee shop for our date night. Find a time and space that works for you and your spouse, whether at home or out. Make it intentional and meaningful.
STEP 3: Be Honest. Be Vulnerable.
Vulnerability is challenging, but it’s crucial for crafting a significant marriage mission statement. Be honest about your hopes, fears, desires, and God’s dreams for your marriage. Share your growth areas and be open to God’s work.
Vulnerability isn’t weakness; it’s trust. Trust God, your spouse, and the process. Let Him create something beautiful through your honesty.
STEP 4: Read the Word together.
We decided to start with the Word of God. Together, we read these verses and asked two questions for each verse. We both had to answer. We then discussed ways that we want to incorporate these verses into our marriage, and how they can help direct us to be what God wants us to be.
a. Proverbs 29:18
What do we want our marriage to look like when we are 80 years old?
How does the Word of God guide our marriage?
b. Joshua 24:14-15
We both come from different backgrounds, how do we serve the Lord in our marriage?
By serving the Lord in our marriage, how will it effect our entire home?
c. Psalm 127:1
What does this verse mean for our marriage?
Have we let the Lord build our relationship? If so, how can we continue? If not, how can we let go of the reigns and let Him take the lead?
d. 1 Corinthians 13
Why did the Lord inspire these verses?
Which verse(s) do we struggle with personally?
STEP 5: Avoid Blame
As Steven and I worked through these questions, we were tempted to blame or criticize each other. Thoughts like “You never do that” or “I wish you would do this more” crept in. But we realized this exercise isn’t about focusing on our shortcomings.
If you find yourself tempted to blame, turn to Scripture, especially 1 Corinthians 13. This chapter reminds us of true love: patient, kind, without boasting or keeping track of wrongs.
Our goal is to build a marriage centered on the Word of God (Proverbs 29:18). It’s not about dwelling on past mistakes but about looking forward with hope and unity. Instead of blaming, focus on the positive, future, and mission statement. Let the process be about growth, grace, and partnership. Grounding your conversations in God’s love and truth will strengthen your marriage and bring you closer.
STEP 6: Brainstorm.
After we read these Scriptures and opened a discussion on our relationship, we began to ask each other questions. These questions helped to guide and direct us. We grabbed a piece of paper and began writing our answers, rewriting our answers, and laughing as we went along. (You can download your copy of the workbook we used HERE. Questions to help you dissect this section are included.)
We included questions about the following:
The PURPOSE of our marriage.
The BELIEFS guiding our marriage.
Our STRENGTHS individually and as a couple.
Our GOALS as a couple.
STEP 7: Create your Mission Statement.
Take your responses and draft your mission statement. Keep it concise. The key here is that your mission statement should be easily understandable and reflect both of your inputs. Feel free to use the template provided in the downloadable workbook. This is our template, but feel free to modify or remove any elements that don’t align with the vision God has given you for your marriage. (You can see the template we used in the workbook HERE.)
STEP 8: Write it Out and Make it visible.
Now that you have your mission statement print it out and hang it up where you can see it daily.
STEP 9: Revise as Needed.
Life changes and the things that matter most to you today may not matter as much as ten years down the road. Revise this mission statement as needed. If you accomplish a significant goal of this mission statement or want to add something more to your mission, start at Step 1 and revise as needed.
STEP 10: Pray.
Pray over your mission statement. The enemy wants nothing more than to attack our marriages. So pray that the Lord will be a banner over your relationship and home. Keep your marriage at the forefront of your prayer life.
STEP 11: Take it further.
Now that you’ve established your overall mission statement think of specific things that you want to accomplish as a couple. Specifically, what do you want to accomplish in your . . .
Spiritual Life. What do you want your relationship with God to look like as a couple?
Family Life. What do you want to see accomplished in your home life? Children? Family? Siblings? In-Laws?
Physical Life. How are you going to maintain your health together, individually and as a couple?
Financial Life. What is important to you in terms of saving, tithing, and becoming debt-free? What does your financial life look like, and where is it going?
Social Life. How are you going to maintain and develop friendships as a couple?
Work Life. What does your career look like? Is it where you want to be? How will you manage work and family life?
Recreational Life. What is important to you as a couple regarding downtime, vacations, and hobbies or activities?
Steven and I had a great time creating our Marriage Mission Statement. It gave us a great date night and helped us hear each other’s hearts. I learned things about him, and he learned about me.
It really goes back to Proverbs 29:18. What is the vision for your marriage? What does God say about your marriage? And how are you going to accomplish His vision for you both?
Download your free workbook HERE and get started creating a strong marriage with your spouse! It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married, if you are engaged, or are just starting out on the journey of life together. This workbook is essential for every marriage. ✨