Have you ever felt like the busyness of life makes it harder to connect with your spouse in meaningful ways? There are seasons in Erika’s and my life when the weight of daily responsibilities feels almost overwhelming. Right now, I’m working a full-time job, Erika is immersed full-time in homeschooling, we’re both running a non-profit community theater, and we’re writing and managing A Symphony of Praise and all that comes with it. That’s a lot for two people to handle in a week.
In the midst of it all, it would be easy for our relationship to take a back seat to the chaos. But somehow, we’ve found ways to keep growing together. Despite the many demands on our time, we’re intentionally building a relationship that feels deeper and more connected with each passing day. This is because we’ve committed to growing with each other. By prioritizing our relationship, we ensure that when those busy seasons arrive, it doesn’t get lost in the weeds of it all. One of the ways we do this is by sharing hobbies.
Sharing a hobby can be a joyful and creative way to reconnect and grow together. Not only does it provide a fun and engaging activity to do as a couple, but it also fosters communication, strengthens your bond, and creates meaningful memories. Engaging in something you both enjoy can reignite the connection that might otherwise fade amid the chaos of day-to-day life. It’s a beautiful way to celebrate your partnership while nurturing creativity and teamwork.
Even with our busy schedules, Erika and I prioritize making time for shared hobbies. These moments allow us to grow closer, deepen our connection, and create lasting memories.
Theater
One of the hobbies we enjoy together is acting together in our community theater. Both of us grew up immersed in the arts—Erika as a musician and singer and I as a dancer for the first half of my life. In this current season of life, we’ve found joy in combining our love for art and performance by acting together on stage. The benefits are incredible: we work toward a shared goal, spend quality time both in the community and in the intimacy of our home, and reconnect with the childhood passions that shaped us—this time with the person we love most.
Since we run a theater together, this shared hobby has become a daily part of our lives. But even before that, we nurtured our love for the arts by singing together in a local community choir. Sharing a creative hobby like this not only strengthens our bond but also deepens our connection in ways that feel both joyful and meaningful.
Working through plays like A Christmas Carol, The Odd Couple, or The Miracle Worker gives us the chance to create new narratives for our lives—stories of connection, growth, and shared accomplishment. On stage, as we embody these characters and step into their worlds, we’re also able to reflect on our own lives. It’s a unique gift: to explore challenges, relationships, and joys through the lens of storytelling and, in turn, grow closer to each other.
Through theater, we’ve rediscovered the childhood joy of the arts—an unfiltered sense of wonder and delight in creativity and performance. And sharing that joy with my wife, both on stage and in life, has been one of the greatest blessings of our marriage.
Book Club
Another hobby Erika and I genuinely enjoy together is fostering our own little book club. We both love to read—though our tastes couldn’t be more different. Erika devours nonfiction and Christian literature, while I lean toward fiction and science fiction. In many ways, we stand on opposite sides of the aisle. Yet, we both share a deep appreciation for books that educate us, captivate us, and bring us joy.
Reading individually is great, but there’s something uniquely fulfilling about reading together. As much as I enjoy diving into a new world on my own, I love it even more when I can share that journey with Erika. Learning something new is always worthwhile, but when you can discuss and explore it with someone you love, it becomes priceless. That’s why, alongside our personal reading choices, we intentionally read a book together.
Here’s how we do it: we pick a book—say Garden City by John Mark Comer—and map out a reading pace for the month. Depending on the book, we usually commit to one or two chapters a week. Over the course of the week, we read, take notes, and highlight parts that stand out to us. Then, on Sunday nights, we sit down to discuss what we’ve read. We make it a date night. These conversations are more than just summaries—they’re moments where we connect deeply, share insights, and grow together.
If you’re looking to know your partner on a deeper level, I can’t think of a better hobby. Books let you explore any topic imaginable, giving you a chance to share your thoughts and hear your partner’s in return. Through this habit, Erika and I have learned so much about each other. We’ve refined practices we want to implement as a couple, walked through the traumas of our past, and even dreamed up goals for our future.
Literature has a way of transporting us as a couple to new places—places where our connection deepens and our identity as a team grows stronger. It’s such a simple practice, but it’s had an incredible impact on our relationship.
Some books that we have read in our Book Club
Garden City by John Mark Comer
The Meaning of Marriage by Timothy Keller
The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman
Practicing the Way by John Mark Comer
When you enjoy hobbies together, you create opportunities for you and your partner to connect on a deeper level—mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It’s a simple yet powerful way to bridge any gaps between you and strengthen your bond. Sharing a hobby allows you to uncover meaningful and intimate aspects of each other that might otherwise go unnoticed.
At its core, it’s not about the hobby itself; it’s about the time spent together. The key is intentionality—setting aside dedicated time to share an experience and build a connection. Whether it’s building model airplanes, painting, performing spoken word poetry, restoring a car, or backpacking through the woods, the act of working toward a shared purpose fosters closeness in ways you might not expect.
So, be intentional. Set aside the time. Explore a hobby together. Growth and joy are closer than you think—you simply have to choose to pursue them together. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, “Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love, all the days of this meaningless life that God has given you under the sun—all your meaningless days. For this is your lot in life and in your toilsome labor under the sun.” Life can be a toil, but having moments with my wife to simply enjoy life makes it beautiful.
I promise the journey is worth it.
Do you have shared hobbies with your spouse?
Let us all know in the comments, and maybe we can add it to our list!
This is great!. I just shared with my husband. We do have share hobbies, but we don't really make enough time for them and each other in a busy week. So I love the intentionality of this.
We’re both retired, so one would think we would not find it a challenge to set aside time to share a mutual hobby! We’re both creative people and when we’re working on something we can get caught up in it and focus on getting it finished, pushing aside everything else, including housework, meal prep, and, oh, time together! Our solution: start the day with coffee (tea, for me) and devotional time, reading a psalm and holding hands, praying for each other, our family, and our day. We don’t always succeed in this, but remain determined to be consistent, knowing how valuable that 15 or 20 minutes is for setting the tone for our day.